While pulling out the charger of my laptop on the socket below my office desk this afternoon, I saw the missing piece of pearl earing I lost last Friday. It has been my favorite accessory due to its simplicity and I was a bit lonely when I found out that the one in my right ear was missing. To my surprise, when I saw the plug or earing nut shines in between the wedge shoes I’m leaving down there, I enthusiastically searched for the pearl itself and delighted when I found it. It made my day! I could not contain the happiness. I informed my boss about it and she was happy for me as well.
Looking back on how I’ve been lost and eventually found by my Savior, I imagined how joyful He was and how the angels in heaven rejoiced. Though plain and simple, like the pearl earing that is so valuable to me, I, too, am precious in the heart of my Father.
In connection to that, a blogger friend randomly told me last weekend that she wanted to write a poem about my life: from falling down to rising up. It is just so overwhelming that she perfectly narrated every important detail of my story. Here it is…
As I lay there at the middle of the street with my shield ripped apart,
Tears fell from my eyes when I saw Defeat start reigning in my heart.
The skies turned black, thunders roared and then it started to rain.
That’s when I knew that there was nothing much for me to gain.
My defeat left me screaming as I think it’s the end of me
I searched for mercy and started hoping that there is an answer to my plea
But all I saw was a pile of dead bodies waiting for the heavens to call them home
That’s when I knew that all of it was true and I was left there alone.
So I tried to stand and face the storm although my legs are shaking
With tears in my eyes and a bruise in my heart, I bravely start believing
That defeat is not the end of my story but a start of a new beginning
And the storm will fade and stars will parade before the sun will start shining.
But I was too naive to admit to myself that I can’t make miracles on my own
And though my legs can make small steps, I can’t stop the raging storm
So my feeble legs suddenly gave up and I lost the strength to stand again
But then I knew, what I once heard was true that all of my efforts are in vain.
But I wasn’t just a wounded soldier walking away from the battleground
My heart is dead, my soul is unfed and too numb to yearn that I must be found
My wall of pride came crushing through and I realized I need some help
A Savior who can make all things new so I yearned for His presence to be felt.
But I realized He already found me before I started to make my plea
He touched heart and turned it into flesh and told me that I am now free
I was once a beggar looking for love; a bride weeping for a groom
But was too blinded to see that my whole being without Him is doomed.
Sometimes we long for worldly things ‘cause we think they’re not fleeting
And then look for temporal love, power and fame as if Grace has no meaning.
But Christ is enough to give us strength and fill up all our yearnings;
Grace has finally come and paid our debts so we can now start living.
If not for the earing nut that shines through the reflection of the light, I wouldn’t be able to recognize that the pearl was there. I realized the irony that our brokenness and what we sometimes consider as “defeat” is actually the way for us to draw closer to the Lord. When we see ourselves as useless and worthless as the earing nut without the pearl, God still sees us in a very special way. ❤