July 17, 2017
One Monday night, after surviving a toxic whole day at work, I went straight to my bed and read today’s passages: Matthew 14, Mark 6 and Luke 9:1-17.
- Jesus walked on the water;
- The disciples were afraid, thinking that Jesus was a ghost;
- Jesus made himself known;
- Peter asked if he could come to Jesus [and walk on the water too];
- Jesus said yes;
- When the wind blows, Peter began to be scared and he started to sink;
- Jesus said, “Why did you doubt?”
- Jesus reached out His hand and caught him up.
Many would know by now that my favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11 for I always remind myself with God’s promises that makes me feel confident about anything that will take place. True enough, when problems and difficult circumstances arise, I worry; I began to feel unsecured – forgetting the plans Jesus have for me. At times, I began to question God’s strategies and ideas. [Seriously, Rhea Angeline?] Sometimes, I feel sad for I do not see any development with regards to what I’ve been praying for. [Patience. Patience.] Most of the time, what happens is totally the opposite of the desires of my heart. These experiences make me feel like drowning on my own uncertainties and anxieties.
Today, like Peter, seems like Jesus is telling me, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
It’s as if I do not know who God is – how sovereign He is – above anyone and anything in this world; that He has control over everything; that He can command even the waves and the wind. It’s as if I do not know that He cares for me – more than the sparrows and the fields.
[What’s greater than these realizations? God’s grace and mercy. Because] despite of it, Jesus still extended His hand to Peter and caught him up. He saved him from danger.
When doubting means drowning, reaching out to His hand means living. I have to grab that immediately.
*Green phrases are added from the original journal entry.