Everyone, at some point, has been hurt by and has caused pain to someone. Oftentimes, a sincere apology could mend a broken heart and could put things back to its own place. Though there are instances when sorry, however genuine it may be, won’t be enough to patch wounds and restore relationships.
Which is harder, to forgive or to be forgiven?
I had been chasing forgiveness.
Then forgiveness chased me back.
Until such time, I bumped into Someone.
I had been pursuing forgiveness when I was once covered with guilt and shame as I am blaming myself as to why my marriage failed. I have wronged the father of my one and only daughter through infidelity. This has caused me so much disgrace and regret. To cope up, I begged for his forgiveness a million times and asked him for another chance to make things right. But he refused and rejected me. It made me feel like I am worthless, most awful, and a total mess.
Until I came to know Someone.
Someone who freely gave His forgiveness when I did not even ask for it.
Someone who died for my sins.
Someone who took out my guilt and my indignity.
Someone who loves me unconditionally.
I came to know JESUS.
I then realized that I am not only chasing anyone’s forgiveness here but I owe it to myself. By immersing to God’s mercy and love, eventually, I was able to forgive myself.
I never thought that forgiveness will chase me back. How fast the situation turned around. This time, I am the one who is hurt, feels bypassed and disrespected. I accidentally found out that my husband had a church wedding with another woman despite the fact that we are still legally married. His action brought me anger, confusion, disappointment and so much pain as they also hid this to my daughter’s awareness. I was actually tempted to file a legal case against them. However, I knew in my heart that God got me something on this.
God lead me again to what He did on the cross.
God showed me that He died for that person too.
How can I not forgive when I had been forgiven?
A realization that gives me peace and gladness amidst severe pain.
Though it was a long process, I am glad that this year, I was able to let them know that everything is fine and I have chosen to forgive – that I do not have any plan on raising things to authorities. Rather, I am looking forward to build our friendship.
God, indeed, completed His forgiveness project in me. I learned that whether you are the oppressor or the oppressed, you need to drown yourself over and over to His unfailing love and unending mercy, which is fresh as the morning as sure as the sunrise.
To be forgiven is enough reason to forgive others including your own self.
May Anne Sto. Domingo is a mother to a 12-year old girl, a Sales Admin by profession, a Sunday school teacher by passion and a church volunteer, Dgroup leader and follower of Jesus by commitment.
True enough, what runoffs inside automatically flows outside. What Anne has shown is a radical love that overcomes not only her issues with other people but as well as her inner healing. With the love that comes from our ultimate source, Jesus – to forgive and to be forgiven became easier.
As a manifestation of this abundant love and as a bonus to this guest blogging entry, Anne’s daughter, a 6th grader Jeanna, shares us her wonderful poem about forgiveness.
Staring at the mirror
Yet I don’t see
Yet there’s no answer
As the flashback goes
Wound and pain moans
For I knew
The love I let flew
Anger, sadness, guilt and moreover
Strike to me like a thunder
Deep within the bones
This feeling had power
Power that controls and overcomes
Power that I didn’t know I have
Power that came from above
Someone said to me
Memories like you should be kept
Should be treasured
Should not leave
Sorry love, I will forgive myself
Sorry love for causing you too much pain
I will take care of this girl
No matter what happen
I will love her
More than I love you.