With the recent series of CCF pertaining to developing horizontal relationships, teaching on how to stop murdering and start loving, emphasizing that anger is an act of murder, to learn to forgive, to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, to honor and respect other people by humbly seeing them as someone better than yourself, to pray for your enemies, to fix relationships and to love like Jesus, this is, I think, the greatest challenge I am facing at this point of time.
When you are disrespected, betrayed, insulted, ignored, judged, abused, abandoned, and unloved – all at the same time – isn’t understandable to be angry? When you tried to reach out, lowering yourself by asking for forgiveness because of the wrong responses you’ve done, not receiving anything in return even a single reply or replying but not accepting your desire to resolve and settle the misunderstanding, that the more you exert an effort, the more you get hurt by the words and statements being said unto you – isn’t understandable to withdraw?
Withdrawal, I thought, was the best way to heal. Cutting all communications by erasing their numbers in my phone, blocking them in my social networking accounts and avoiding meeting them in different occasions, I thought, was the best way to learn to forgive.
Forgive. You do not have a choice, whether your offender asks for forgiveness or not, you forgive. No matter how unforgivable the person who hurt you is, forgive as Christ forgave you (Luke 23:34). Forgive those who have hurt you. Forgive those who are hurting you. Forgive those who will hurt you.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free, only to finally discover that the prisoner was you!” – Lewis Smedes
Love. It is true that loving the unlovable people is not difficult. It is impossible. Love is a verb. A verb is an action word. When God said love your wife, your neighbor and your enemies, He is not talking about your desire or your feelings. He is telling you to act upon it. Whether the other person accepts it or not, it is something uncontrollable on our part, so leave it to God. Lift it up to God.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
In line with the battle cry of CCF this month, we were asked in our discipleship group last Friday to list three practical application points on how we can show our care for specific people or group of people that seems challenging for us to accomplish. Here’s my list:
- Pray for them – to include them in my prayer list, asking God for their good welfare, good health, safety and protection, financial blessings and promotion, that they will grow in intimacy with the Lord, that may God speak unto them and work in their lives;
- Send gifts – remember them in their special days, in holidays and even in ordinary days;
- Communicate – to email them individually by telling them what they did to me, how I’ve been hurt, that I am choosing to forgive them, to ask (again) for their forgiveness for my wrong responses and that I’m willing to meet up so long as they want to see me.
May God grant me wisdom on how to go about these and provide me with the exact words that I am about to tell them.
With all these uncertainties and the risk of getting hurt even more, still, I am choosing to care.